Showing all posts tagged COVID-19 👾

On ikigai and bizarre “guilt” of fortune
In Life on the Equator, Overcasted Mind, Pandemic Pondering, Thoughtful Enlightenment

On ikigai and bizarre “guilt” of fortune

Posted on 18 Comments

Actually, guilt may not even be the correct word for it. Guilt seems to imply that there is something wrong to be admitted, but for this particular situation, I don’t think that there is. I just haven’t found the exact term, and guilt feels to be the closest to what I’m currently feeling despite missing a certain justification. There is this specific pattern that being in isolation had brought me to, which I’ve noticed more over the years. It began when I was still living in Edmonton, where oftentimes, especially during winter when everyone couldn’t be bothered to go outside…

Defisiensi Disiplin
In Life on the Equator, Overcasted Mind, Pandemic Pondering

Defisiensi Disiplin

Posted on 30 Comments

Akhir tahun ini, umur saya akan menginjak angka 28. Artinya, lebih dekat ke kepala tiga dibanding 25 – yang biasanya adalah batas usia untuk masih pantas disebut young adult. Agak aneh, mengingat kalau saya bertemu dengan orang-orang berusia dua puluhan awal saya masih suka berpikir, “Oh, masih satu generasi lah ya kita.” Hingga saya sadari, adik saya sendiri usianya sudah 21 tahun saat ini, dan kami bahkan lahir di milenium yang berbeda! Bahkan mungkin saya adalah salah satu acuan baginya saat memikirkan contoh figur orang dewasa. Yang dianggap dan diharap sudah bisa memegang penuh kontrol akan hidup masing-masing beserta segala…

Shifting the source of joy to the everyday things
In Life on the Equator, Pandemic Pondering, Thoughtful Enlightenment

Shifting the source of joy to the everyday things

Posted on 15 Comments

Among other things, which are mostly the awful ones, the pandemic has strangely helped me reevaluate many views in my life. One of them is the realization that the common mindset of “work isn’t meant to be happy, it’s meant to be done so you can use your paycheck to afford things that make you happy” may not only be outdated, but also a little peculiar. I used to live by that motto, thinking that it doesn’t matter if I have to spend more than half of my awake time every day dealing with things that are less interesting than…

Practicing acceptance for a guilt-free stagnation
In Life on the Equator, Pandemic Pondering, Thoughtful Enlightenment

Practicing acceptance for a guilt-free stagnation

Posted on 2 Comments

It doesn’t feel quite right saying this, but if there’s anything good that the pandemic has taught me, it’s about self-compassion. I guess we can all agree that the entire world collectively tearing apart is one acceptable excuse for how you haven’t been behaving like the “better,” more functional version of you. I myself have been abandoning so many things that were once a part of my routine, that I now feel guilty about. It’s funny that ironically, the reason why I’ve come back to doing something through writing here is because I’m posting a tedious trilogy of self-loathing regarding:…

When does a break become too much break?
In Life on the Equator, Overcasted Mind, Pandemic Pondering

When does a break become too much break?

Posted on 14 Comments

At the beginning of the pandemic, I had my fair periods of bursting productivity. I completed my step-one fixed step training at work ahead of time, aced my French exam, went to the class twice a week virtually, wrote more than 20 poems for my portfolio website, revamped my childhood bedroom to an adult workspace, started a new obsession with houseplants and even created Excel spreadsheet to document its well-being updates, got myself a piano keyboard and taught myself from zero, regularly read papers and articles about planetary geology, started volunteering again, and the list goes on. Yet a few…

Is gratitude a prison?
In Life on the Equator, Overcasted Mind, Pandemic Pondering

Is gratitude a prison?

Posted on 8 Comments

There was this conversation between Randall, the adopted son of the Pearson family, and Kevin, his non-biological brother in This Is Us S05E13 that had been stuck with me for a while. It’s when Randall admitted that the fact that he was adopted by a family he loves so much makes him feel that he is bound to show nothing but gratitude at all times, while that feeling, truthfully, feels like an emotional prison because oftentimes he still couldn’t help but thinking about all the what-if’s had he been living with his biological parents instead his whole life. And Kevin…