Undigested arrays of thoughts that come out as a rambling essay

Undigested arrays of thoughts that come out as a rambling essay

I know I can’t be the only person who sometimes goes to sleep thinking about a certain mistake, or embarrassing moment, or something utterly nonsense that I somehow managed to pull even out of a seemingly very casual thin air; wishing that by the time I wake up in the morning it’ll all be a distant memory that no longer matters. Except that most of the time, it does not. The thoughts linger, and when I first open my eyes in the morning, it’s still going to be the first thing that intervenes into my mind. And then I’ll continue…

Coexisting with Coronavirus: Making Peace (Again) with Adjusted Expectations

Coexisting with Coronavirus: Making Peace (Again) with Adjusted Expectations

I find it funny that only last year, after a series of turbulence that eventually landed me somewhere where I could say, oh look, life is on my side for once – I finally had the confidence to think to myself, “This is it. I can now manage my resources and time independently towards my utmost craving for travels. There’s no stopping me now.” Then all of sudden, the coronavirus came out of nowhere – sort of. Leaving the world shattered in so many ways, in a blink of an eye. A personal long-term goal of mine included. Until two…

That one thought that lingers since last year

That one thought that lingers since last year

Do you ever feel like you’re just not yourself, or at least not your regular, bearable self? Like you’ve somehow discovered some anomalous, unnatural habits that make you yourself even cringe to live under that living body. Like it’s just so not you. At least not in the past. Maybe time changes you, maybe the circumstance, maybe the geographical place… But whatever it is behind that, it clearly doesn’t do a good job getting you metamorphosed into a beautiful butterfly.

So, I’m pretty much overwhelmed and..

So, I’m pretty much overwhelmed and..

I think it’s aggravating that sometimes, you dwell so deep in a mistake you made like there’s no way you could be any more disappointed than that, but if you trace into the root of the actual issue, it’s not even about yourself. Like you might actually be okay about that, and you knew you probably deserved that moment, and you wanted to just accept the fact if you could… But it’s still way too exacerbating, probably because you disappoint other people instead. Be it people that you love, or people whom you need to earn the trust from. Anyhow,…

On missing the only institution where I was actually happy to be unhappy

On missing the only institution where I was actually happy to be unhappy

Today was Saturday, but I forced myself to head to my office at the university anyway. As a home person, I would obviously rather work from the comfort of my own desk in my house if I could, but I could not. I just wouldn’t be able to be concentrate somehow, and so the only other option is the university because it’s the only other place where I could still practice my 5-time prayers. So, to the office I went. I started pretty late in the noon, so I finished up pretty late as well. Even though it was a Saturday. By…

I wish my days in Canada were as pleasing as my Instagram posts

I wish my days in Canada were as pleasing as my Instagram posts

So I haven’t posted anything in a while… But I thought I might do a quick one, just because I feel like I need a short escape from my daily responsibilities by doing something that isn’t completely the opposite either. And writing sounds like a good fit, doesn’t it? Also, I realized that I haven’t really posted much about the actual regular days I’m going through on daily basis here in Edmonton. I think I did a couple, months ago, but I took them down some time ago (hehe) because of one and two things that got me thinking that…